using your Truth Love Energy to learn how to choose, and to choose how to learn
Last year's goals and results
These were my actual goals at the beginning of the 2012. At the beginning of the year I had a boost of productivity and began planning everything. I didn't follow through on all of them -- actually only one got accomplished as-is, but I learned that there's nothing wrong with goals changing or receding from importance as priorities and preferences change.
Become a full-time trader - I did my homework as much as I could, eventually realizing that I am not cut out for short-term trading. That was disappointing. Now I've backed off and am mostly doing long-term investing.
Organize the house - did not get done as much of the stuff belongs to Tex, and some things just have to go before the rest can be reorganized. Will work on it slowly this year.
Exercise regularly - Was difficult to motivate myself until mid-year when it was channeled as my platform for the year. That gave me motivation to do it more regularly and now I not only exercise 2-3 times a week, but I enjoy it as well. It has become a comfortable routine for me.
Start an investing blog - Lost interest. Realized I do not like writing to a vague audience, and I no longer have enough interest in the subject.
Learn physics/chemistry - put on backburner as I'm starting school for accounting. Still on my to-learn list.
- I'm done with the charge and resentment I had toward my parents and can now see them as innocent people. I think they did a great job raising me.
- My confidence and self-expression skyrocketed this year as a consequence of that realization. Amazing. Here I thought I made great leaps in confidence last year. It just gets better and better.
- I'm working with Michael's teachings more closely than I have in the past, and I have never felt more in charge of my life.
- I began exercising regularly as a result of my platform and discovered the joy of moving my body.
- I found a career direction that fits my personality that I could be excited about.
- We explored dietary changes for health and now have a new dietary equilibrium much higher in fruits and vegetables than before. I don't feel much different healthwise, but I like the way we eat now and don't plan to go back. I started out trying to do the Eat to Live diet to the letter, but I learned that 1) I cannot make myself do strict diets on a long term basis and 2) it is no more than human nature to go back and forth between the ideal and the familiar on the road to making changes. We're now about halfway between the old and the "ideal", and I'm fine with staying where we are.
- I came across several books which touched on how our emotions act as a sensory system, the most significant one being The Language of Emotions. It taught me to embrace my emotions, which made a big impact immediately. In my healing work I was always taught that "negative" emotions were bad, and if I felt it, it must mean I was being "reactive" and fearful. I was told it was better to be "non-attached" to both positive and negative events, which I took to mean "non-emotional." I tried to distance myself from my emotions. But actually, emotions are just information. Sometimes "negative" emotions tell you something about the present and are not from old patterns at all. Once I embraced my emotions, it was like my world went from black and white to technicolor. The positive emotions were brighter, and the "negative" emotions, oddly enough, were more "okay". And even more interesting, I learned that one can be emotional yet "non-attached" at the same time. I can feel my emotions and let them go.
- Michael commented on my philosophy of "Compassionate Patience" that I've developed over this year. I had thought it was a 4th IM thing. Some time earlier this year I began to understand, on a visceral level, that we human beings have ups and downs. We are NOT consistent. We do not do things perfectly. It is not only okay, but NORMAL to succeed and fail, succeed and fail, succeed and fail. Like the stock market (which is made of collective choices), we do not go up or down in a straight line. We zig and we zag. Upon understanding this, I began to show myself a lot more compassion in response to my upsets and missteps. As a result, I have become my own most comforting companion.