I Opened Someone Else's Gift (whoops)

Felt impelled to share this one, it was very funny to me!

A little context: One of my funny habits that my family and friends have called me out on is the fact that I never tear wrapping paper. When I open wrapped gifts, I don't tear the paper -  I just undo the tape and unwrap the wrapping paper. I've done this for as long as I can remember, and my family loves making fun of me for it.

Concerning opening the wrong gifts... I don't know if this is a common occurrence, or if it happens all the time, but today was the first Christmas I accidentally opened someone else's (my cousin's) present. And it was mortifying. Mortifying, but also, surprisingly, hilarious.

The present in question had been placed on the table to my left, just in my peripheral view. I thought it was mine, took it, unwrapped it. Inside were Eagles and Flyers pajamas. And this had me confused, because I'm not a sports person, but amenable, because they were really soft and I really liked the colors of the pajamas (team colors). Then I looked up at my sister, who'd also been looking at what I unwrapped. Turns out, this present was for my cousin, and it was the one my parents had gotten for her. I learned this later, but at the time, all my sister said to me was, "Um, I don't think that was for you..."

My mind basically started doing this:

Now, normally this would turn into a very awkward event. But, as it happened...I hadn't torn any of the present's wrapping paper! So I got it back from the trash, unfolded it, re-wrapped the present, dashed for some tape, and got it all back together by the time my cousin came back to the table.

Christmas Eve saved. All because I've never torn my wrapping paper. I just think it's hilarious when a scenario arises in which someone's odd habits actually come in handy.

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Comment by Bobby on December 27, 2013 at 6:26pm

Connor, it's funny that you ended up sharing this story because I had thought about sharing something from my distant past along the same lines.  I suppose as a reply to your story would be as good a place as any as long as it contributes to the same theme of your own posting.

My immediate family for Christmas Eve always got together at my maternal grandmother's house.  It was a small house full of people since there were 6 children and each of them had at least 2 or 3 kids of their own.  At Thanksgiving prior to Christmas Eve, they always drew names so gifts could be exchanged come Christmas Eve.  Everyone drew a name so everyone would get a gift.  I repeat... EVERYONE would get a gift.  It was guaranteed that no one would go giftless.

Well, come Christmas Eve, I happened to be sitting right next to the Christmas tree as gifts were started to be passed out.  I had a few female cousins that were more like friends than “just” cousins and they had decided to also get each other gifts in addition to the one name that was drawn.  It seemed like they were getting gift after gift after gift while I sat there with nothing.  

I felt really embarrassed by this and left out so obviously insanity took over, right? Logic be damned that everyone would eventually get a gift so I decided to “help” things along.  I so nonchalantly reached under the tree and just happened to pickup a gift that belonged to me!  Well, not really but I pretended that it did to make myself look and feel better.  Ok, back to that part about everyone having their name drawn and gifts given based upon who it was for.  Sanity was not present when I made this decision because reason would have convinced me that the gift that I took would in no way be designed for me.  And it wasn’t!

I opened it and what items do I see?  MEN’S socks for my mom’s brother given to him by my grandmother.  Oh God, what do I do now?  Well, I had to dispose of the evidence somehow.  I hadn’t thought far enough in advance to think about what would happen when my uncle didn’t get a gift that someone had brought for him.  They knew it was for him and they brought it.  It MUST be there somewhere.  So, I quietly disposed of the gift on the back porch while his gift was being search for.  I just set it down and pretended nothing happened.  All would be right with the world from doing this, right?

Oh no, that was not to be the outcome of this little lapse in sanity.  Word got out that a gift was missing and a posse was convened to try to find out what happened to it and where it had disappeared to.  One of my aunts, who would make a good Sheriff, rounded up all the grandkids for an inquisition style questioning.  I couldn’t be part of this so I had to have an excuse NOT to be there but where would I go?  What would I do?  I decided NOW was the perfect time to take a dump.  I sat on the throne when just outside the bathroom door, everyone was lined up and questioned about this missing gift.

They never did get a straight answer from anyone, not one that was believed anyway. I wasn’t about to come out of that bathroom while the inquisition was taking place, no way!  Eventually, they found the package on the back porch and the contents were given to my uncle.  We left at some point in the evening and when I got home I ended up confessing.  My mom was mortified and so was I but I didn’t know what else I could do.  I couldn’t un-do this at this point.  I don’t even think I tried explaining why I did it because after the fact it seemed like such a stupid thing to do and no one would understand my reasons.

Comment by Brian on December 27, 2013 at 1:53pm

Now you know why you've always unwrapped presents this way.







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