using your Truth Love Energy to learn how to choose, and to choose how to learn
This is not singularly aimed – rather – it's aimed at all of us. I found this quote to be particularly apt as we go full swing into a Priest year which has Compassion as it's positive pole.
"The third near enemy of compassion is idiot compassion. This is when we avoid conflict and protect our good image by being kind when we should say a definite 'no.' Compassion doesn't imply only trying to be good. When we find ourselves in an aggressive relationship, we need to set clear boundaries. The kindest thing we can do for everyone concerned is to say, 'enough.' Many people use Buddhist ideals to justify self-debasement. In the name of not shutting our heart, we let people walk all over us. It is said that in order not to break our vow of compassion we have to learn when to stop aggression and draw the line. There are times when the only way to bring down barriers is to set boundaries."
~ Pema Chodron, The Places that Scare You
TLE has had, IMO, a tough go of it over the last few weeks with raised conflict – in cases where I would rather have seen raised glasses. Although I don’t always know what the best way through a conflict is – I do know that it’s important that everyone gets to “raise” their voices – if they feel unheard, unseen or misunderstood. Whether we like it or not, this is what a passionate or compassionate community looks like …it can be messy at times.
Over the years I have had to learn to find my own voice and it hasn’t always been easy. Anger kept me quiet for years. I was terrified that if I spoke my mind it would overwhelm me and everybody around me. I came from a home where there was a lot of physical and verbal fighting and with it a lot of anger attached – both spoken and unspoken. When I was growing up no one, including the adults, had completed their 3rd IMs in their positive poles. I didn’t know what this was at the time – it was just experienced as a “hot mess”.
I know I left home just to find peace and quiet. But the “mess” or chaos followed me. I couldn’t get away from controlling bosses, negligent boyfriends and friends that couldn’t “see me”. After years of “running away” from “the mess” I stopped long enough to deal with how I had internalized the chaos of my early environment. I knew first hand that I had no control over the chaos that was around me but I did learn that I could heal the chaos that was inside me. So I did.
It was long in coming but one of the first things I did was to own my anger. This was my first step to true “ownership” of my self. I had to learn not only how to say to someone “get off my foot” – if they were standing on it – I had to learn that I deserved to feel those feelings as much as I deserved to speak them. If I didn’t want someone “abusing” me – it was up to me to speak up – no one was going to do it for me.
Owning my anger – instead of projecting it onto others – was one of the single most liberating things I have ever done for myself. Some recent channeling I had with Michael really brought this home to me – just how significant this was for me and confirmation for what I had “secretly” known all along. I guess there are no secrets for any of us as long we have access to Akashic records in some form or another.
This is just an excerpt – the complete Q&A can be found under my personal blog on Dream ~ Growth Potential Potential via “Shadow” Fragments.
[MEntity]: For some fragments, a loving, accepting, and nurturing environment is far more suspicious (to the Personality) and gives nothing of obvious substance against which to measure the growth of the self.
[Maureen]: That sounds so fucked up – but I get it.
[Maureen]: We often need something to push against – in order to grow.
[MEntity]: However, when enlisting these fragments to naturally challenge the Personality in the life, it gives potential for that pivotal moment when the Personality launches into a complete ownership of a trait that has been elusive for several lifetimes.
[Maureen]: What has been that elusive trait for me?
[MEntity]: This trait for you may be Anger.
[MEntity]: And all that the term entails.
[Maureen]: That makes sense. They did help with that – in this lifetime. I mean that in a good way.
[MEntity]: They may have helped provoke it, but you did the work in owning it.
[Maureen]: This is very clear to me. I remember my huge shift – when I finally owned it and applied it. It was liberating.
[MEntity]: Anger is one of your least-favorite signals, yet most pervasive and insidious elements of your "shadow." It has haunted many of your Personalities.
[MEntity]: We say this as a matter of spectrum. Anger can be quiet, even as it trembles under the skin.
[Maureen]: Does Anger have negative/positive poles? I sensed it as a form of Liberation/Freedom.
[MEntity]: Yes, Anger could be said to have BOUNDARIES as the Positive Pole and DEFENSE as a Negative Pole. Because Anger represents a spectrum, it can be broken down by those terms, as well.
[MEntity]: The liberation/freedom you sense would come from the dissipation of Anger, or the processing of the helplessness that is underneath that anger.