using your Truth Love Energy to learn how to choose, and to choose how to learn
From POF 1/13/2013
[Diane_HB] 1. Tex's question: I would like your advice on how to better relate to my daughter, MB. I care for her, but I don't like being around her because she's critical of me. She wants to change everything about me, and she wants my attention all the time. She recently had a baby, and she wants me to go to Switzerland and visit. I really don't feel like it. Could you talk about the relationship dynamic between us and how I could have an easier time around her? Do we have any karma, agreements, monads competed, and any other resonance/dissonance of significance? How many lifetimes have we shared?
[Diane_HB] Diane's comment: By the way, she was channeled as a Warrior-cast Server with a Priest ET, but I think she's more like a Artisan-cast Warrior with a Sage ET. Please comment.
[MEntity] There is no Karma here, but there are Agreements. The Agreements are fairly simple, and focus on two things: expanding on your evolution through Growth and challenging your Stubbornness, and expanding on her Acceptance while challenging her Self-deprecation. This translates into two basic words: Honesty and Provocation.
[MEntity] Each of you struggle to sustain your Agreements, which are not easy to implement, but your Agreement is to work on implementing honesty, and her Agreement to work on implementing constructive provocation. You WANT to grow and be challenged. She WANTS to accept, and be accepted.
[MEntity] Since you may not be able to change how she behaves or thinks, it is only your concern to behave and think (and feel) as you choose, rather than only in reaction.
[Diane_HB] Tex: What does implementing honesty mean?
[MEntity] For instance, it is OKAY for you to be honest about where you stand with invitations, expectations, and presumptions. It is okay if this does not go over well. It is okay if this is seen as rejection or hurt feelings. Because when you free yourself from that dynamic, you are able to express and share your love as you CAN, not as it is expected.
[MEntity] Implementing Honesty merely means letting the truth be known as the same internally and externally.
[MEntity] Her Goal is Acceptance. If she senses any part of you being rejecting of itself, she is prompted to help. Her intentions are not to be critical or to hurt, but to help, even if only in ways that she can figure out, which may or may not be helpful.
[MEntity] If she senses or knows you do not like yourself, parts of yourself, parts of your life, your past, your prospects, etc. she is prompted to help bring about acceptance, which is through change, which goes directly against your stubbornness.
[MEntity] She may not have refined her capacity for sharing insights and constructive criticism, but we also know that you are not too keen on being told what to do, how to be, etc.
[Diane_HB] Tex: No, I really don't like being told what to do.
[MEntity] You can rest, assured, that we are not here to tell you what to do, or how to be, but some of your most intimate relationships, particularly those who are in bodies and capable of communicating with you directly, were asked as part of this life to help keep you on your toes, to drop defenses against criticism, and to rise above resistance to change.
[MEntity] Astral planning and Physical Plane implementation comes as a double-edged sword of forgetfullness, in that great ideas come about from the Astral, but when implemented in the Physical Dimension, do not play out so smoothly. This is because it easy to forget in the Astral how hard it can be while Physical, and hard to remember while Physical, just how beautiful your plans seemed to originally be.
[MEntity] So it was considered: "Excellent! I may come into some difficulty taking on this whole Growth thing, so I may easily dismiss everyone who tries to help me move forward when I'm stuck, but if my own daughter tells me where I can change and do things differently, surely I will listen to that!"
[MEntity] And she may have said: "That sounds great! I'll be in Acceptance, so surely I will be able to carefully convey to you what is important to do and change if you get stuck! I'll stay on it!"
[MEntity] And then "reality" hits and both may then have to work through being two bitchy, sensitive, grouches who are reactionaries.
[MEntity] We only refer to either of you as bitchy, sensitive grouches to make a point, not to define you as such.
[Diane_HB] Tex: I am a grouch.
[MEntity] It is up to you to see beyond your reactions to her and to see her intentions as not intending to harm, but to be loved, to love, and to help you do the same. Loving and being loved is a learning process, and not one that can be expected as perfect, no matter what the relationship.
[MEntity] It is up to you to deliver your communication with honesty, but with as much flexibility as you can, exemplifying your own willingness to grow and change, even if you resist at times.
[MEntity] You can try to respond with appreciation, even expressing "thank you for bringing that up" or "for offering," to exemplify your willingness to consider, rather than coiling in defense, and you may alter the dynamic between you tremendously.
[MEntity] You have shared 124 lifetimes.
[MEntity] As for Role, Casting, and Essence Twin, we do not have a correction. Her Public Overleaves tend toward what you describe, mostly from imprinting and Family Ikon.