jesuislulu: Hello Michael, You have said that my current lifetime as a pivotal transistional one, thematically described as The Search.  In settling into my 5th monad, I find myself examining all niggling " memories" so to speak, fragments of other lifes that have stepped out of the shadows so far that seem to point me in new directions,  new possibilites for "re-creation" of my Self.
   Previously you  have spoken of an Alexandrian lifetime  as one of the " Last Librarians" where my storytelling was directly related to story ideas I currently am working on , that I have over this grand cycle collected experiences regarding subjects such as Obsessions, Addictions, Giving, and Receiving and also have had "adventures" into multiple dimensions. I can see all of these examples as part of these "niggling" memories.  

As I sort through and examine my options, where I really want to go, to explore and expand on as what really " moves" my Essence, I see that my desire is pulled strongly towards telling these tales from my memories. Could  you elaborate on any cluster of lives that examined thematically can help me sort through these ideas? Or any arc that puts these stories/ideas/memories in a context that can be expanded on and shared?

MEntity: We think we understand the question, but if you find that our response reflects that we do not, we invite you to interrupt us.
While all of this is a resource of creativity for you to do with what you please, we consider the asking and the openness for input to be Good Work. Our suggestion, then, is that you not seek to find, or force, a theme for all of these stories, ideas, memories as a means to bring them together, but rather to allow each to be a seed, or a facet, if you will, and let each tell its own part.  The larger weaving, the epic arc, would come on its own.


jesuislulu: This at times seems to be chasing shimmers and shadows that nevertheless is quite unrelenting.

MEntity: Now that you are an Old Soul, we can see the patterns that have been generated so that a theme can be described, and we can always anticipate themes that seem to be universal and popular for patterns yet to emerge, but now matter how broad or inclusive our perspective, we can only interpret from "where you are now."
 This is your same position for all of these "shimmers and glimmers." Making sense of them as a whole before making sense of one will probably not be helpful.

jesuislulu: Trying to catch even one has seemed like chasing a mirage and is a bit frustrating.

MEntity: Pick one. Carry it for a day, a week, a year. Exchange with it. Wear it. Let it sit with you. Take notes for it. Let the ideas and creativity flow.

jesuislulu: Pulling focus has been a difficult concept for me.

MEntity: Oh. This elusiveness may be because it seems you may not be completing the circuit, so to speak.  These things will not impose themselves upon you, nor will they necessarily present themselves. They will only grab your attention. The rest is up to you.

jesuislulu: It is like these ideas are an interwoven "net" and separating the strands is an ongoing process that confounds me.

MEntity: Imagine that one of these "shimmers" is like a beautiful dress that catches your eye from a store window as you pass by. That dress is not going to leap at you and tell you to wear it. It is not even "free." You must take the time, and use the energy (money, in this case for the dress), and go into the store to try it on, buy it.

jesuislulu: When you spoke of the Alexandria life you said that what I have seen as stories in my dreams are memories of stories I told then. 

MEntity: We share that metaphor so that you understand that effort may be necessary for the clarity of recall and relay of these. 

jesuislulu: I have gotten better at trying to take Snapshots and make notes of these glimmers. I, like so often in dreams you get the Aha! But find that the point fades. Understand where the story is leading , then I get lost. I understand what you are saying about the energy needed to actively try on though...

MEntity: Your "net" analogy is helpful. It is not necessary for you to detangle anything. Simply noting the various "glimmers" as they come may help you to see an emerging pattern. The interwoven qualities would not be easy to separate; that is true.

jesuislulu: Ok. I can see how the pattern of ideas is related to my cadence of Sages work with Addiction

MEntity: However, all of this speaks to something far beyond the pursuit of a whole picture: this pursuit is part of a kind of Self-Karma that pits your prejudices against yourself to the confidences that are possible.

jesuislulu: Then that would relate to my work with Arrogance, perhaps? In working through this self-karma?

MEntity: You have become skilled at "excuses;" relying upon distractions to excuse pursuits, or to nurture impatience.

jesuislulu: Ah.....chatter lol In my head and outside it too.....

MEntity: You over-anticipate, and try to fill in the conversation before anything is being said. You fill the silence with your "chatter," yes. You are so busy gauging, that you forget to engage.  So whether it is a person, an experience, or a "shimmer," it is often eclipsed long before it stood a chance of being seen or understood. It was quickly moved into the shadow of your anticipation, your presumption, your projection, etc.
What you have decided is true becomes the experience, not the experience, itself. This is why you may be drawn to escape into recreations that allow you to SLOW DOWN.

jesuislulu: So rather than authentic experience it becomes a projected fiction.... I do love walking and meandering through environments

MEntity: But this can be achieved at any point so that your perception is normalized for experiences, be that your own thought processes, a relationship, or a "glimmer."
What we would suggest for you, if you find your mind racing, and your attention span scattered, is to gently, in the most loving way you can in the moment, run your finger down your forehead so that it goes down the slope of your nose.
 Doing this at least three times, if in public, and as often as necessary when you are alone, can help to soothe your Higher Emotional Center so that it connects again to your Intellectual Center. The physical motion is the Moving that is the bridge.
 Slowing yourself down when you think you normally cannot, and helping yourself create the psychic space and time for comprehending your visions, may greatly enhance your capacity for putting together a working model for these "glimmers," if a project is pursued, and would definitely help you in moments when you otherwise may resort to freneticism or escape.

 Beyond that, and to help a bit, we can say that the stories told in your "Alexandrian" life, of which you may be dreaming in this life, were themed in what we might describe as "Authenticity." Stories about honesty, clarity of intent, quiet goodness, the value of being sincere and true, etc.

jesuislulu: Thank you, you have given me excellent advice today. Will work on trying to not anticipate, but engage and yes, Slow Down.

All the little fishies... The energetic shift into Pisces began for me on Saturday as the waters of my unconscious began to trickle, then flow freely after a week-long agonizing migraine. ThirdEye pounding mercilessly, the fluid in my body roiling and wreaking painful havoc. I attended a workshop led by my friend, Astara. A yogic-shamanistic evening of journeying that she had entitled, Release and Reclaim. It involved Chakra balancing , shedding everything element , positive and negative that you saw as your Self and standing naked, stripped down to your bare Essence. It required a commitment to release Everything. Watch it be swept away, in great wave ...whatever.....you get the drift. Then allowing what was now needed in your life to return. 

At the end of each section we journaled.
I wrote: 
On Chakra Balancing, internal pressure releasing. Still feel ungrounded in the 2nd, but surprisingly free-flowing in the 3rd which has always been a weak spot. Heart chakra murky, but flowing, throat freeing up and as usual an overly strong 6th that pulls intense energy in constantly....need to create better Flow from There to Here.
Finding the "Through line" of energy from the Intuitive Inner Voice that takes the information in , but not sufficiently grounded to create anything from that insight. Beginning to "speak" this sense of consciousness, Being, but without the Trust necessary to move it physically still tenuous, at best. 
The 6th and Crown balancing moved the pressure form my head , but Heart still constricted and murky.

That which was Swept Away: the petty constrictions and Chatter, fear of abandonment. The lack of acknowlegement from the outside, the Other no longer necessary as it holds you back from feeling the joy and wonder of "Possibility" .
The outer trappings of Stability, the apex of a  vast sand dune, surveying a whitehot desert, one false move and one frantically tapdances on quicksand, faking the joy and abandon.

Sand grains slipping underfoot,  slowly gaining purchase and step by step 
To firmer more fertile ground, a path to a quiet pool. Whitehot sunlight  becomes twilight, becomes a moonlit ripple. a cool spring-fed sense of self. Refreshed, nourished all that is needed for creativity to flourish, to flow from within to without, a cycle complete. 
breathe in, breathe out. All hearts beating as one. All beats moving me towrd the center of that quiet pool.

And finally, Welcome Home.
Open hands, hearts recieve Play, Joy, Courage, True Trust.
A willingness to be surprised, a certainty that you will always be nourished as you need. 
Not frenetically seeking, but simply being still, centered.
Fears for survival, gone. The strength to stsy whatever course you steer, the fluidity to change as the wind changes, not as a flight, but an alliance.

You are loved, you are loving, you are love.


We ended the evening with a Gong bath.....soundwaves swimming in and around each and every cell.....a shimmery school of sound, lovingly washing away all the residue left from Migraines and life's other pressures, leaving me refreshed and ready to re-create...my Self.


You are never alone.